See ya, hyphen

So, we had a sucky Dr.'s appointment yesterday. I have always loved my Dr. for how bubbly and sweet she is, but either she was already mad before we got there, or I pissed her off.

My cervix has undergone two separate, but related, surgeries one of which was an emergency repair surgery. So, naturally, I am worried about the strength of my cervix as the baby gets bigger and bigger. She originally told me that she would begin monitoring it at 20 weeks. That sounded fine at the time, but here I am, getting ready to board a cruise ship for the Caribbean in a week and I'm slightly nervous about the state of my cervix. So, it only seemed logical to me to have her check it before we left to ease my mind. Keep in mind, this is only 3 weeks earlier than she had planned on starting to monitor it anyway.

Well, when I brought up that I was starting to get worried about it she practically made me feel like I was asking for a kidney. How hard it is to do an extra ultrasound? Eventually, after some tears, she did offer up to do the extra ultrasound, but not super willingly. I left there feeling bad for standing up for myself, but that hardly seems fair. Yeah, my worry may be premature, but after the trauma I went through "down there" it isn't hard to believe that I can't quite shake the terror I have from imagining that my cervix is shortening too soon.

I go back in on Wednesday for the "extra" ultrasound, but now I'm dreading it even more. Partially because I fear the unknown, but also because I don't feel all that warm and fuzzy towards my Doc at the moment.