Friday, May 29, 2009

Let the crazy begin

Ok, so I know I said that TTC wasn't going to take over my life, well today thats first and foremost on my mind thanks to my first dose this cycle of Clomid. Its double what I took last month and I can already feel the double crazy and a double dose of nausea. I really had high hopes to work through the symptoms today, but that definitely did not happen. I wrote one of the six articles I planned on writing today and the rest will just have to wait.

Luckily, my darling husband is very supportive and keeps telling me not to push myself to get it all done, I mean afterall I only have myself to answer to, but I still feel like if I set a goal for myself that I really should meet it. Oh well, no matter how much I wanted to meet the goal for today, Clomid had other plans.

The husband is going to be out of town all of tomorrow and most of Sunday. Originally I thought this was "good timing" because I will be on Clomid all weekend, but now I'm starting to feel its "bad timing". I feel like I'm going to need him more this weekend and am afraid that I'm going to let my hormonal-self stay at home to rip out my own hair. I have made plans with a very dear (and pregnant) friend to walk in the afternoon so hopefully since that will force me to leave the house, that will break the cycle of hibernation before it can begin.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


So, it only seems appropriate, as a self-proclaimed "writer", to document what feels like a significant time in my life. I've been married for almost 11 months now, I just finished my first year in a job that I really see as a career, I'm starting graduate school in a few months, AND we're trying to conceive.

Each of these things on their own would have been exciting enough, but all together there are days that I just can't handle all the excitement -- or the stress, call it what you will. Having the summer off from my "real job" (I work at a school) at least gives me a little more time to focus on the other exciting things going on. Ok, really, it seems like its just giving me time to focus on my freelance writing and trying to conceive. I haven't quite been able to wrap my brain around going back to school yet, and quite honestly, I don't find that near as scary as TTC.

It actually feels slightly weird to write out Trying To Conceive. I've talked about it, I've read about it, yet haven't actually written about it. We are only on month #2 which is probably why I haven't really had that chance yet, but in just a few short months we went from "we'll start trying this summer" to taking 100mg of Clomid. My Doc knew that trying on our own would be fruitless given the out of wack body I have so she suggested we try Clomid to get us going. I always thought of Clomid, what little I knew, as something for people who had been trying for a long time or who are "infertile", but yet here I am on month #2 of it.

As that could be an entire blog in itself, I'm going to stop myself right there. I started this blog to remind myself, and my hypothetical/potential followers, that there are so many things in life to juggle that, although some of them take precedence at times, we need to maintain balance. I can't worry about TTC every second of every day just like I can't worry about finishing my work every second of every day. Balance is good for the soul, good for the heart, and even better for the relationships in your life, which at the end of the day is about the only thing you can count on for sure.